OMG!!! MARRIAGE IS A BLESSING. PART 2.

Marriage is a blessing. This statement is very true, when we behave in a way that shows it. Here is where we get real.

PREFACE: I DON'T HAVE THE MARRIAGE BEHAVIOR ALL TOGETHER YET. 

And I don't want to give anyone the impression that I do. I believe that's why God gave me this topic. It's another part of me that I'm still working on. And everything that I give to you, is likely something that I'm working on myself at this moment or I just got fixed for myself. So just to be real, I don't have the perfect marriage. Reggie and I can get on each others last nerve. Usually I get on his last nerve more, LOL.  I don't have perfect kids. They got mouths too. They are spoiled. And they make dumb mistakes just like most kids. And I strive to be that Proverbs 31 woman. I use that chapter as a checklist for myself to stay real with myself about where I really am, and I don't think highly of myself. There is work to do in Ana, just like there may be in all of you. "So how do you get off giving help on this topic when you don't got it right yourself girl?" Because I know WHAT I'm supposed to be doing. But like scripture says, "The spirit is willing but the body is weak". Meaning this flesh that I have to crucify daily gets in the way of what I'm trying to accomplish. I have to take my days step by step. I may be in the middle of my morning, and find myself getting a little worldly or getting an attitude and I immediately take a moment to get that thing check in prayer. I don't care if i'm in the middle of a conference call or in person meeting or the weekend dishes. I get that Hannah Prayer going on real quick and get to crucifying this flesh. But that's the same problem many of you have or will find that it is your challenge as you work on these things.

I'll hit just a few of the key points for you to be able to change your marriage for the better. Make it stronger. Make it more united.

1.   You have to have real love.

I don't mean the "I'm with you cause I love you! Why don't I leave? Cause I love you! Duh!" I mean the kind of love that if I mess up and say something wrong, or if I do something that doesn't agree with Reggie in his heart or mind, that I have enough real love in me to actually say I'm sorry and mean it. Also, the kind of love that when I say to Reggie, I'm sorry, that Reggie has the kind of real love back to forgive me and NOT take a tally of how many times I've made the same mistake. If you can bring up something old into a new argument, you didn't really forgive. And let's face it, it means your love needs a little more work.

2.  Sometimes you just need to let it go.

Let's face it. You won't grow in the marriage at the same pace. And especially not in the same areas in your life. It took me almost all of 2015 to realize that and get it settled in my spirit. There will be times when something is about to turn into an argument. That's the time to shut it down people. And I mean that mouth. I'm not saying don't talk to each other. Cause things need to be talked about. The second you don't communicate, it's an immediate landslide of failures coming up. What I'm saying is PAUSE cause you already know you are about to say something that is about to blow the whole thing up. Take a time out, pray, clear your head, and come back. And guess what, sometimes the aura, and tension will pick up right where you left off. :-( That's when you have to agree to disagree. I heard a wonderful quote by Bishop TD Jakes yesterday. "Sometimes all you can do is to agree with God when you can't agree with each other." How do you do that? Find the solution in scripture. Not always easy to find, but like Prego, it's in there.

3.  You need to Make Love.

Get your heads out of the bedroom. Lol! I mean the kind of making love that physically shows your spouse that you love them. Like for me, sitting next to Reggie and putting his feet on my lap after he has worked a very hard day is a show of love. Reggie drawing me a hot bath is a show of love to me. It does NOT have to be a big show or costly at all. For example, one day I was super busy after a long days work, and had something going on at the church so I got home late. And after cooking and eating dinner, I was now trying to clean up the living room and kitchen so I could give our baby girl a bath and get her to bed so that Reggie and I could get in the bed at a "decent" hour for once. In the middle of my rush, I was losing hope for spending that quality time with him that we wanted and of getting some good sleep, I realized that the living room was really quiet besides the tv. I stopped and looked out and listened down the hall and realized he was giving our baby girl her bath! That not only lifted a little weight off me, but showed me a little love. It doesn't take much to Make Love people. And it makes the kind you were thinking about first, so much better when you learn how to Make Love in other ways first.

I hope these examples help you in your marriage. The word says of all the fruits, the most important one is Love. Love covers everything. It covers a bad day at work. It covers the frustration you just had for what one of the kids did. It covers the fact that maybe he didn't help you in the house today. It covers the fact that I messed up again. Love covers everything, when you can grow your love to perfection.

This is what the Lord gave me to give you. So I hope you are blessed today. I love you all and have a great day!